Mon, Sept 27 - V post Landmark, Huub's Tandarts, Marilou & Axel

Marilou & Axel

Marilou is looking great, nine months after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Short-cropped gray hair, ruddy cheeks, bright personality as always. She hates that her short hair curls in the back, and she's worried that her new school mates will think she's a lesbian.

On December 24th 2009, she felt poorly and was admitted to hospital for a battery of tests. On January 7th 2010, she was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in her left breast and lymph nodes. They said she'd lose her breast. She underwent chemo and had surgery, and the cancer is 'gone.' She still has her left breast. The scar on her breast is so discreet as to look like a birthmark. The scar under her armpit is angrier, and she can't lift her left arm past shoulder-height without pain.

She had to suspend her attendance at BBSH (Barbara Brennan School of Healing EUROPE) in Bad Ischl, Austria, in January, but is excited to be leaving tomorrow to start the first year over again with the new class.

I dropped by at 5pm 'for twenty minutes' and ended up staying for the take-out dinner Axel brought home, accompanied by a Limburgse (!) white wine. It was great to see them both. Marilou and I swapped stories (her treatment, my trip), and unpacked the gifts I'd 'rescued' from Huub's study (A Chronological History of The Netherlands--a time line that folds out accordion-like; wine-opening kit; silver letter 'bucket' and letter opener; silver letter opener with red stone inlay; Zimbabwean stone statuette with funny face; light green onyx dish; framed photo of MB&H in Leiden). She loves both H & MB, but has a particular soft spot for H, and was very glad to have reminders of them.

There's a 'new' oversized painting hanging in their dining room, and Axel explained it's a family portrait of his father with his brothers and sister. It's a riot of greenery and imagination, painted in the 1930s by <?>. Most people don't notice that the girl's dress has Stars-of-David all over it in a Delft-blue pattern, not even the German soldiers who lodged at Axel's father's house during the war. Axel remembers visiting his grandparents as a kid, and there being nothing interesting to do but look at the painting -- but even he never 'registered' the Jewish symbolism.

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Didn't get to sleep till 2 or 3am. Slept till 8.30am, then again till V called at 10am on my old Dutch number (which still works, bingo :)  Skyped for 1/2hr. He was just back from 3 days of Landmark, and wanted to tell me he was sorry -- for not acknowledging / appreciating me and the effort the move took; for being angry 'in a seven year old kind of way' when I didn't come to SF when he wanted me to come; for being frightened by the commitment I was making to him. Got off on a tangent about being very self-sufficient, just like Larry, who led his Forum (I cook, I clean, I sew), and therefore the 'other' in the relationship (the wife, the girlfriend) not feeling 'needed.' His eye-lids were drooping by then, so we bade each other farewell; conversation to be continued.

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A gray rainy day. Got up, folded laundry, called Ageeth to thank her for the boeken bon but she was having lunch. Had lunch ourselves (delicious Vichysoise, and uitsmijter), then drove H to his dentist appointment (up near Kijkduin). Had the dentist look at my back molar, where a bit more of the filling came out yesterday, and he blithely said, 'Just replace the filling -- the two walls of the tooth are still there; that's all you need.' He was also in favor of the composite (white) fillings over the amalgam (gray) fillings, because the latter have mercury in them. But he acknowledged that but for that,the amalgam fillings were better. Best of all is gold, he agreed, but gold is pricey at the moment. // Drove back to the Waldhoorn Plein to drop off the glass recycling, then to Lido and Pxxx (two discount supermarkets to the west of the Beatrixlaan) to pick up empty boxes for packing. Had a coffee at the Pxxx. // Got home and MB headed out to do some shopping. I took the nails out of the walls, and then started to help Huub decide what to recycle via the kringloop and what to throw away in his study. He had a number of nice things, and as I was going to see Marilou, I decided to take them as gifts for her and Axel. // 4.30pm MB returned with the car, and I headed over to Duinweg 5. Chatted with Marilou for about an hour before Axel got home, then had dinner, and left around 8pm. Heel gezellig and heartfelt. // Got home (felt bad about missing MB's special gember kip dinner) and Asbury had finally emailed over the medical forms they want the huisarts to fill out, which had MB in a tizzy (how inconsiderate! have they no idea we are just one week away from leaving Holland?!).