Tues, Sept 28 - Dettie (bike), UK Taxes, Haircut, Monique (misc), Check Shredding, Dini & Romeo

It's 10.30pm and MB is going to call it a night. She's been emptying out her herbs and spices into the trash so that she can recycle the glass bottles. It's breaking her heart to be throwing things away, particularly things she's cooked with with such pleasure and which could still be used to create more sumptuous dinners by another chef -- but she barely lets it show. Just one groan have I heard all day.

Dini came by at 7.30pm and in two hours she carted away two shopping-carts' full of stuff. She took down the vitrages (on the Rijswijk side); the stained glass square that hung between the hall and the living room; the hazy green-and-brown village scene oil paiting that hung in the entry hall; a whole collection of Huub'a postcards (Tchad, Amalfi, Shenandoah) and boxes to store them in; the collection of classical music cassettes, including the lecture course; picture frames; book ends; living plants and fake flowers; an old shaver, camera, and radio. Then it was down to the berging (storage unit) for the Christmas tree and ornaments; the five red geometric-patterned Persian rugs; a light folding chair and a bike pump. Mom discovered a box of things with my name on it -- the rest of the Jezzine ware, and a copper-and-tin bowl and plate.

She had her 2 year old black poodle Romeo, successor to Boris (who lived to be 17), along -- who responded unexpectedly amorously to my scratching behind the ears, first licking me vigorously then mounting my knee. Dini curbed his behavior.

Dini has an edge to her personality that puts off MB & H a little. Maybe it's that she walks like a dyke, but I don't think so. She has a faintly blustering way about her, and a keen commercial edge. It's probably that she talks too much about her (poor) health and how much things cost. She worked at ING before it became ING, and retired at 54. She was offered a promotion two levels up, but didn't want to work for the new firm. She had her antiques business on the side, and devoted more time to that while benefiting from a comfortable ING pension. Now 70, she still spends Sundays at the antiques market in The Hague. She's been sick since MB & H's farewell borrel, and standing outside in the cold didn't help. She didn't make any money last Sunday either. Not a single Euro. None of the dealers did. Customers have their pocket books zipped shut. Her flat (on the 2nd floor, opposite corner of triangle from MB & H) is nicely furnished with good wood furniture, antique chandeliers, and a collection of 18th century red & blue chinaware on the wall.

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When I first arrived the first things I missed were the dining room table and the mirrors. The dining room table was a repository for things that needed to get done, or be put away; and was a relativley quiet place to sit and 'work' (or do finger exercises, or read the paper) when the kitchen became too much. And the mirrors -- well, I realize in their absence how I used to check my appearance before emerging from the bedroom in the morning, glance in the hallway mirror before I leaving the flat or returning to the living room from the toilet, peripherally acknowledge myself in Mom's long-skinny study mirror.

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I rescued handfuls of photos today. First a stack of old (1920s, 30s,40s) photos that Huub was returning to Dettie, per her written instructions on a notecard on top of the pile. But since she'd written that note, she's had a stroke and been told she'd be dead from a kidney tumor by now. And she doesn't think her own children would be particularly interested in the old photos. So it went from her telling me I should select a few to keep, to her asking me if it was alright if she kept two or three for herself. There are photos of Oma and Opa Morsink, and of Marietje / Mieke, Monique (Moni), Dettie, Huub and Ageeth (Ati) when they were pre-teens; photos of the first-born grandchildren -- Meindert and Monique born in Australia, and Mariette Dettie's eldest; and two historical gems, one of the bridge by Vlake bombed on May 2nd 1940, and another from the Watersnood of 1953. Huub was going to throw away his ration card from WWII when he was living in the Tweede Emmastraat in Haarlem, but I said I wanted it.

He also jettisoned a lot of more recent photos. Just threw them away. When he and MB left  for the doctor's together, I went through his trash, suspecting he was throwing away family treasures.  Admittedly, many are duplicates of photos Jim or Paul are likely to have, of Kalila and Silas when they were young for example; and he did give me the photos of me he's kept over the years -- but there were a few of himself over time, and with MB, that I don't think I'd be able to find anywhere else and are in any case nice to have in once place.

I didn't tell H Dettie had given me the old Morsink family photos, or that I salvaged photos from his trash; I just put them in some empty photo albums that were destined for the kringloop, and will mail them to MB care of J in DC.

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Dettie came by at 10am with her downstairs buurman (Paul?) to collect the exercise bicycle. He ended up taking it apart with the special spanner that came with it. I thought the point was that he'd come with a van large enough not to have to do that. Dettie ended up not wanting the botanical illustration of the orange flowers, or the plate with the dove on it, after all. She did take the wine glasses -- Gabrielle had them on her wish-list for Sinterklaas. H gave Dettie a small photo of them when they were kids; she tucked it in her inside jacket pocket, and he smiled a warm happy smile (for her or for him, I'm not sure; but he clearly felt he'd done something good). When we were looking at the pile of old photos together in the kitchen, she remembered he'd given her a photo, but I had to remind her where she put it. "I'm glad you remember; he'd be upset with me if I forgot it."

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Monique came by at 4pm to collect things she'd expressed an interest in. The papyrus I'd brought back from Egypt, for example. Monique said the ducks made her think of family coming together, and she was going to hang it above her dining table. She took a bunch of kitchen stuff, including spices and the weighing scales ("I'll think of Marybeth when I'm baking!"); and three plants MB had raised from wee shoots.

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Erika, MB's hairdresser on the Waldhoorn Plein, snipped off my sun-bleached ends and trimmed my bangs from 2 to 3pm. MB has her last appointment on Friday, and we're going to film the process so a DC hairdresser will know what works on MB's hair. Blow drying really doesn't; rollers do.

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Journal:
Woke up at 8am, probably 'cause I heard MB&H talking; I'd stayed up watching TV till about 2.30am. MB was all hugs and smiles, the dis-connect of last night gone like it never happened. Took some more nails out of the walls and took down the over-door-window coverings. Figured out where to get a paper shredder in Rijswijk. Ageeth called and H explained Mali was on the other side of Africa from Malawi (she supports a charity in Malawi, and word is getting out I'm going to Mali), and I thanked her for the boekenbon she'd sent along for me. 10am Dettie came by with her neighbor to collect the exercise bike. I'm not sure where she disappeared to, but at one point we were left drinking coffee with the neighbor, whose half-brother lives 150km outside of Boston and works for Honeywell. After they left I completed my UK Taxes, which I thought were due October 1st (in which case I'd have been late). Upon finding out it was due October 31st, I almost put it off but MB said, 'Just do it.' Submitting my taxes on paper by the end of October means HMRC will calculate my taxes for me. Around noon MB prepared lunch (can you believe it, she's still serving up three meals a day; incredible) of left-over Vichysoise, pork tenderloin with cumin and allspice, mashed potatoes, witlof, and carrots. MB & H left for Dr Wai's office to drop off the Asbury medical forms right after lunch, and I took the opportunity to go through H's trash to salvage photos he'd thrown away. 2pm hair appointment with Erika. MB stopped in on the way back from Dr Wai; she deposited the glass at the Waldhoorn recycling even though I'd said I'd do it. Got farewell cards for MB & H at the natural foods store next door. Home about 3.30pm, and started to rip up MB's old checks, before deciding to check if Renier had a shredding machine. Turns out he does...but it's broken... but his buddy Barry on the 17th floor on the other side of the building has one that works, and Barry will be home at 4.30pm. Monique arrived at 4pm, I went to Barry's and shredded checks at 4.30pm, Monique left around 6pm and it was time for dinner. MB & I had the lovely fish soup Monique had thoughtfully brought by, and I finished off the gember kip I'd missed last night. We finished dinner and cleaned up the kitchen in timefor Dini's arrival, and spent the next couple of hours loading her up with stuff. Huub was already in bed by the time we returned to the flat about 9.15pm. The three times I looked in on H in his study during the course of the day he was 1. throwing away photos, 2.eating an ice-cream, 3. looking up news on Mali. His study looks much the same as it did when I arrived last Friday. He doesn't have the energy for this. 'I've had to be stern with him,' says MB. She sympathises that he's not getting in his afternoon nap, nor his daily bike ride. I tried to be cheerful over dinner, sharing the good news of international bookstores and liqour stores carrying creme de cassis in DC, and he did seem to brighten. On the flip side, he's commented I talk very fast, too fast, and at times has gotten irritated not being able to follow MB & my (mundane, logistics-focused) table conversation. Caught Lucy S in London as she signed into Skype, and had a brief chat. She looks good, framed against her pink office wall. MB said a brief hello, congratulating Lucy on her baby and upcoming book, and Lucy wished her all the best with the move. Then MB was supposed to go to bed,, but I heard her still tapping away on the computer at 11.45pm. She was having difficulty signing up for vehicular assistance (preferably a buggy) on the BA website, and I got that sorted. She was very grateful. She really is a grateful person. There are times when it feels forced, but I'd say she puts out so much gratitude that those times are but drops in an overflowing bucket. Then she collapsed into bed. She is exhausted. One more seriously difficult day, getting everything ready for the kringloop to take away. Then the kringloop comes Thursday, and the carpets etc get ripped out on Friday. I made a reservation at the Savelberg for Thursday night. That puta smile on MB's face. Friday we're having a borrel with Renier, Aad & Joke. Saturday Gies is taking us out to dinner. (Sunday and Monday the Savelberg is closed). Monday, Karen & Henie and Monique are coming by the Bastion Hotel for a farewell drink. (And me? Let's see... Wed: sort out Dettie's skype; post office with posters and photos; arrange storage of copper plate with Axel; Fri: lunch with Boudewijn in Rotterdam; Tues: dinner with Pieter in Landsmeer).

Mon, Sept 27 - V post Landmark, Huub's Tandarts, Marilou & Axel

Marilou & Axel

Marilou is looking great, nine months after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Short-cropped gray hair, ruddy cheeks, bright personality as always. She hates that her short hair curls in the back, and she's worried that her new school mates will think she's a lesbian.

On December 24th 2009, she felt poorly and was admitted to hospital for a battery of tests. On January 7th 2010, she was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in her left breast and lymph nodes. They said she'd lose her breast. She underwent chemo and had surgery, and the cancer is 'gone.' She still has her left breast. The scar on her breast is so discreet as to look like a birthmark. The scar under her armpit is angrier, and she can't lift her left arm past shoulder-height without pain.

She had to suspend her attendance at BBSH (Barbara Brennan School of Healing EUROPE) in Bad Ischl, Austria, in January, but is excited to be leaving tomorrow to start the first year over again with the new class.

I dropped by at 5pm 'for twenty minutes' and ended up staying for the take-out dinner Axel brought home, accompanied by a Limburgse (!) white wine. It was great to see them both. Marilou and I swapped stories (her treatment, my trip), and unpacked the gifts I'd 'rescued' from Huub's study (A Chronological History of The Netherlands--a time line that folds out accordion-like; wine-opening kit; silver letter 'bucket' and letter opener; silver letter opener with red stone inlay; Zimbabwean stone statuette with funny face; light green onyx dish; framed photo of MB&H in Leiden). She loves both H & MB, but has a particular soft spot for H, and was very glad to have reminders of them.

There's a 'new' oversized painting hanging in their dining room, and Axel explained it's a family portrait of his father with his brothers and sister. It's a riot of greenery and imagination, painted in the 1930s by <?>. Most people don't notice that the girl's dress has Stars-of-David all over it in a Delft-blue pattern, not even the German soldiers who lodged at Axel's father's house during the war. Axel remembers visiting his grandparents as a kid, and there being nothing interesting to do but look at the painting -- but even he never 'registered' the Jewish symbolism.

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Didn't get to sleep till 2 or 3am. Slept till 8.30am, then again till V called at 10am on my old Dutch number (which still works, bingo :)  Skyped for 1/2hr. He was just back from 3 days of Landmark, and wanted to tell me he was sorry -- for not acknowledging / appreciating me and the effort the move took; for being angry 'in a seven year old kind of way' when I didn't come to SF when he wanted me to come; for being frightened by the commitment I was making to him. Got off on a tangent about being very self-sufficient, just like Larry, who led his Forum (I cook, I clean, I sew), and therefore the 'other' in the relationship (the wife, the girlfriend) not feeling 'needed.' His eye-lids were drooping by then, so we bade each other farewell; conversation to be continued.

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A gray rainy day. Got up, folded laundry, called Ageeth to thank her for the boeken bon but she was having lunch. Had lunch ourselves (delicious Vichysoise, and uitsmijter), then drove H to his dentist appointment (up near Kijkduin). Had the dentist look at my back molar, where a bit more of the filling came out yesterday, and he blithely said, 'Just replace the filling -- the two walls of the tooth are still there; that's all you need.' He was also in favor of the composite (white) fillings over the amalgam (gray) fillings, because the latter have mercury in them. But he acknowledged that but for that,the amalgam fillings were better. Best of all is gold, he agreed, but gold is pricey at the moment. // Drove back to the Waldhoorn Plein to drop off the glass recycling, then to Lido and Pxxx (two discount supermarkets to the west of the Beatrixlaan) to pick up empty boxes for packing. Had a coffee at the Pxxx. // Got home and MB headed out to do some shopping. I took the nails out of the walls, and then started to help Huub decide what to recycle via the kringloop and what to throw away in his study. He had a number of nice things, and as I was going to see Marilou, I decided to take them as gifts for her and Axel. // 4.30pm MB returned with the car, and I headed over to Duinweg 5. Chatted with Marilou for about an hour before Axel got home, then had dinner, and left around 8pm. Heel gezellig and heartfelt. // Got home (felt bad about missing MB's special gember kip dinner) and Asbury had finally emailed over the medical forms they want the huisarts to fill out, which had MB in a tizzy (how inconsiderate! have they no idea we are just one week away from leaving Holland?!).

Sun, Sept 26 - Anna-Milena's Visit & Huub's Doing vs Being

"Ik ben blij dat je m'n dochter bent." (I am glad you are my daughter). Three kisses, hand on shoulder, a straight look in the eye and a slight smile; then off to bed. Wel te rusten, H. Ik, blij.

Earlier, I was blown away by comments H made, out of himself, about having/doing vs being, and about distinguishing the voices in his head.

As we made our traditional Wilhelmina Park circuit in the setting sun, he asked how I'm surviving financially, and as part of my answer I remarked how earning a good living had kept me comfortable but not (of itself) 'happy.' Sometimes I feel what he considers most important is financial security, and I've had that, but when I had it did not feel validated in his eyes for having it (ie, it was not really 'enough'). I couldn't help but prod:

"So - were you proud of me when I was working at Goldman Sachs, with a good salary and a pension?"

And he surprised me with the depth of his answer:

"I was always encouraged to do work I found satisfying <?what was this in Dutch?>. And I did. (Others might find some of what I did more or less satisfying...). But I realize I've had the wrong approach. I've been focused on: 'Wat je doet' (what you DO)... rather than focusing on: 'Wie je bent' (who you ARE); I was never encouraged to do that. I find you (M) have a much broader and richer range of emotion and connection and experience; you are more focused on 'wie je bent.' And in my gut (not in my head or my intellect, as a concerned parent), that makes me happy.

I realize it means taking risks. Like going to SF to be with V. Things might not work out the way you hoped. But it's not a waste of time; you're learning more about who you are."

And a little later, as we were rounding the corner to the apartment:

"I've also started noticing how judgemental I am about people. I respond to people with judgement, rather than compassion, for example. I've learned how to be polite, and say acceptable things, so people (some, anyway) think I'm a nice enough guy... But I've arrived at the point where I notice myself making judgements all the time, and I ask myself, why am I responding to people with judgement rather than compassion?"

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Anna-Milena dropped by at 10.45am, as agreed after three or four convoluted emails. She had visited with Wim last night while we were out to dinner with Dettie, which MB described to her as an occasion for 'a brother-sister farewell'. I was just getting out of the shower as AM toured the flat with H and selected some paintings to take away: H's geometric ochre painting which MB hates so; Bea Heijmeijer's bowl of pink flowers she gave H after his CVA; a muddy river landscape near Alkmaar with some faint windmills in the distance, which H had promised never to sell; and after some discussion, the embroidered map of The Netherlands, which apparently Dettie had had made especially, and didn't want going to the kringloop.

Out came the Dominee's photos from the rotonda farewell borrel last week (which AM had attended), and AM had brought along some photos Dettie was going to get rid of, and I picked out a handful: Huub speechifying at Mariette's wedding; Wim and Dettie in the caravan (always heard about, never seen); some more recent ones of Wim & Dettie & Anna-Milena.

We had tea and then lunch (courgette soup and MB's bean spaghetti), and talked about AM's drug trial participation in Groningen, looking forward to Dettie's 80th birthday in January despite the tumor in her kidney (she's now lived longer than the '3-6 months' prognosis she was given last April), Wim's traumatic uprooting from Zoetermeer and his caring for his plants at Lelinde and their visit together to Spa in Belgium, the 'herdenking' of the Indonesian troops in WWII (which AM is involved in as part of her WWII work), saving up to take a trip to the US (possibly the summer after next, as Gabrielle and family are planning a visit in 2011).

Her hair is long and thick and graying, her eyes bright blue, her jaw-line starting to display the family jowel-droop, her hips carrying more weight than in my childhood memories of her. She says she's had to get used to not living in Portugal for half the year, and that working on making lingerie with Mariette has helped her with staying put. She is going back to Portugal on Oct 10th, fortuitously, to act as a guide to some distant friends, which she says she loves to do. She had a Portuguese boyfriend last year, but it didn't work out. All in all (what 'all' do I know about??) she seems happy in her skin, interested in her various projects, loved by her family. I hear the voice in my head, 'But what is she UP TO?' and thank it for its contribution.

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Wilhelmina Park - Trees gone around Children's Climbing Frame



AM left at 1pm and I napped till 5pm, when J called, followed by skype with P. At 6pm I took a walk in the park with H (and had the conversation mentioned above). Many trees have been cut down as part of a park re-design that is scheduled to take a few years. In the meantime the park is shorn and muddy, and H says he's stopped biking around it because the paths aren't the same without the trees. Upon our return we all had a kir together, then toasted cheese for dinner, and H disappeared to watch the Dutch news at 8pm.


H wondered whether DC would have a French or German bookstore, and I said something about what about a Dutch bookstore and subscribing to a Dutch cable channel at Asbury -- which brought out this unexpected reaction from H:

"I don't want to be living in the US in my body but in Holland in my heart. I would rather make a clean break. I do want to maintain my links to Europe -- but can do that via German and French."

That said, when I asked him, should I still speak Dutch to him once he's in Asbury, he said, 'Oh yes, that will be a relief.' And Gies has shared her on-line NRC password with him, so he'll be able to read quality news in Dutch (MB doesn't think Dutch TV news is much good anyway).

Sat, Sept 25 - Middelburg w Huub & 't Oude Nest w Dettie

San Francisco to Rijswijk

H&MB sweetly came and picked me up at Schiphol. We pressed our noses against the glass partition between baggage claim and the arrivals hall. They were coming from lunch with Ageeth in the Beemster, just north of Amsterdam. On the drive home I jabbered about the landscape and history of the Southwest, and about some of the people we'd met and some of the places we'd stayed.  401 Clavecimbellaan has been stripped of paintings and books and bookshelves. It echoes. Yet it doesn't feel like things are really missed. Who needs them? H&MB don't seem too bothered. "It's been a gradual process, so we've gotten used to it as we've gone along." For MB, it's been the hardest move because she's doing more of it herself (both in terms of the split of tasks with H, as well as there being no company movers to help out). But she doesn't seem too fussed about leaving Holland. "We haven't been here that long - just 10 years." And for H, the hardest thing has been the change to his night routine. He cut his finger stumbling in the dark last night. Things (the bed, the commode, the bookshelves) aren't exactly where they're supposed to be. I thought the main difference was that the linolium was ripped up last week (and the room has a musty smell to it now). Reflected that he'll have quite a few new room arrangements to get used to: at the Bastion, then Jim's, and finally their new flat at Asbury. Brood-maaltijd with Monique's left-over sweet-sour zucchini-tomato soup. Fixed Skype on Huub's computer, and got connected to the WiFi on mine.

Four Days in Frisco

Southwest Airlines deposited me back in San Francisco at 19.30 on Saturday, September 18th, and I took off again on a 16.55 Virgin Atlantic flight on Thursday, September 23rd.

SATURDAY V met me at SFO and hugged me tight, kissing me on the lips. We caught the BART and bus home, via the destitute homeless of Civic Center to the trust fund homeless of the Haight. V had made a batch of his carrot soup and we had that for dinner, over a handful of spinach. He showed me the trailer for Tora Tora Tora, one of those iconic films he'd seen as a kid with his brothers, and then laughed till his tummy hurt over the fire alarm whacking episode from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

SUNDAY was a lovely day, tooling around a sunny and carefree San Francisco on my (well, V's) road bike and spending time with friends. I went to the first service of Glide with V, where his djembe accompanied the Youth Choir (Erin Mixon changed GTC -- for Teen choir -- to GYC). Then biked down Market to the Castro and visited with G&V&C, and heard about their time at the conference in Boston and with G's family in St Thomas. Mused about the mid-life crisis phenomenon some more, and V made my day by suggesting they make it to the Festival of the Desert in January 2011; that would be so awesome! Brunch with CB at Cafe Flore, catching up on my road-trip and on her doings in SF and the Sierras. She told me she'd applied to chaperone the school trip to Senegal in February 2011 -- how cool would that be?! More church at 14.30 with the choir at SAF; met Gregg who knows Pastor Fitch and Angelique from the 1980s, and felt good pitching the Mile in Their Shoes project to George & Judy, Carolyn, and Mona. Biked home with V via Trader Joe's on Masonic; he prefers the hybrid 'cause he can sit more upright with the djembe on his back. V cooked up raviolis and I helped prepare the veggies & salad, and we ate on the 'breakfast in bed' tables watching 'Food Matters,' a nutrition documentary V wanted me to see.

MONDAY was a blissful day together with V. And a forgetful one regarding other people. ML in the morning and decided to go to Lamott's 9.30 bikram yoga class in the Castro. Drank more water during class that is 'allowed', but managed to stave off the nausea I believe comes with dehydration. V was feeling the heat / wooziness and took a few breaks from the postures. Said bye to Lamott -- 'Can I come with you on your trip?! I'll close up shop; it sounds great!' Stopped by La Taza at the bottom of Diamond for Mexican Mochas (with a hint of cinnamon) and were adopted by Louie, lymphoma surviver and overall adorable dog belonging to a couple having breakfast by the open window. Both of us had left home without our phones, and I was late to connect with MG who I'd planned to have brunch with, but by the time we spoke she was ensconced in a cafe near the Front Porch with MN going over her family tree. Also forgot that I'd arragned to have lunch with RC, who called at 13.30 just as I was looking ahead to meeting AS to make a run down to my storage unit. Biked over to R's and satisfied his curiosity about 'the day the romance died' and showed him how to post events to the Art & Film's FaceBook page I'd set up (even though ID -- who was at the studio when I dropped by -- could easily have instructed him). AS picked me up at 15.00 on the dot to do a run to Stop N Stor and have me back in time for my 16.00 appointment with LL at the Castro Mission Health Center. I ended up merely picking up the office chair and lamp and vacuum cleaner to drop off on a street corner and make space for more boxes. Had a bubbly chat with LL (she greeted me with a hug), oozing the optimism and love and sense of connection I've been absorbing from WM these last few weeks. Dropped by Ferrari's in the Castro for a magnum of prosecco, a baguette and a hunk of bra dura, and continued up to my Diamond destination. T was feeding F&C a snack (peanut butter and banana sandwiches, washed down with beet-whey juice), and V was about to pop out to the Bi-Rite. A was under the weather and snoozed on the couch for much of the evening, with G flopped beside him (when he wasn't at T's breast). Broke open the proseco around 18.30 shortly before VB arrived, coming over the top of the hill from ICA on Dolores. Ordered organically sourced Mexican from the new Little Chihuaha recently opened in Noe VAlley; A and I drove over to pick up the food and Ric arrived as we pulled up back in front of the house. G got back 1/2hr later, as we were most of the way through dinner and A&T&F&G were thinking about packing up to go home (C had already fist-squeezed his good-nights to us from his perch in V's arms). Nice of A and family to drive into town to say goodbye, nice of V&G to host the evening...but somehow felt empty and without connection and that saddened me. Nice ride home with V, holding hands, talking - still on a roll about the roles at SAF. Days like this one were exactly 'what I'd been hoping for' when I moved to SF; nothing momentus, just a connected vibe, doing things together we enjoy, spending sometime apart and coming together again, alone and with friends, weaving in and out of each other's lives with energy and harmony...


TUESDAY I had a melt-down.

WEDNESDAY I woke up feeling more whole again, and packed the stuff I'm leaving behind in SF into watertight clear plastic boxes for V to take down to my Stop N Stor unit.

THURSDAY I packed my bags for my trip, and caught my flight to Amsterdam via London.