Thursday, October 7th –
Trudie.
- I’ve just put the heat on. If one sits for a while one gets chilly
- I got pickpocketed yesterday. Euro 500. I came home with my groceries and only unpacked them later – and the envelope with the money was gone! I separate my and Madeleine’s shopping into two bags, and I always check the grocery receipt because they make mistakes; that must have been when it happened
- Would you like some tea, or coffee, or fris, or some rose? I went upstairs with her to the kitchen, and got a bottle out of the box.
- I don’t do much these days. I can’t concentrate to read or even watch TV. Friends come by to visit, but I have to warn them I might not be able to make it at the last minute. The only thing I still do a little of is vermogensbeheer.
- No, I don’t bike anymore. What if I fell and broke something? I’ve got to think of Madeleine.
- I hope to be carried out of this house [ie, dead]. I can’t stand the thought of care homes.
- The houses in this street are selling like hot cakes (als warme broodjes)
The story of Huub & Trudie. Greet (Ghrate) was a friend of Mieke’s and Trudie’s. When Huub came back from Tunisie, Greet asked Trudie if he could come along to dinner, and Trudie said ‘sure.’ He was staying at his mother’s and this was just a few weeks before he was to leave for Lebanon. Trudie was going to the family flat in Monte Carlo, and asked if Huub wanted to come, but he was already bound to take a trip with his mother to (the veluwe? Vosges?). Turned out he couldn’t take it, and came knocking at Trudie’s door three days later, but she was already gone. They had dinner one more time before he left for Lebanon. Greet took him to the airport. Greet was in love with Huub (even though she was married), and didn’t want Trudie to come along to the airport.
She got a wedding announcement, and a birth announcement for Huubke and Marliesje. None for Paultje. Trudie asked why. Huub said they were embarrassed that he’d been born so soon after Huubke, so they’d decided not to send out announcements.
Then in 1972 she bumped into Huub at the train station in Geneva – she with her mother, he with an au pair and a child or two in tow. Her mother had a place in Mies, which went to her sister after her mother’s death. There was some disagreement over the estate, and Trudie lost contact with that sister. Her other sister moved to Canada, and her daughter, Janine Prinse, now lives in Trudie’s neighborhood. Janine is 47 and a documentary film maker, and travels all over the world.
Huub and Marybeth stayed with Trudie on at least two occasions (and at least one, with children).
Madeleine called while I was visiting. We had a chat. I asked her how she was, today, and she said ‘slecht.’ She has cancer of the lungs, and lymph nodes, and brain. 13 tumors in her brain have disappeared, and the growth of the tumors in her lungs and lymph nodes has been halted. However, her kidneys aren’t working properly anymore as a result of all the chemo.
She lives alone in an upstairs flat, and refuses to move to a care home. She often doesn’t get out of bed, which means her muscles are atrophying. A care worker comes twice a day. Trudie brings her shopping.
Her voice sounds old. I try to imagine the beautiful 14 year old I visited with when I was 7, as a ravaged (and quite possibly bald, from all the chemo) ‘old’ woman of 48. That full head of shoulder-length chestnut hair, full cheeks and lips; maybe a nose like Trudie’s, I can’t quite remember.
‘Why did she say ‘slecht’ to you?’ asked Trudie, a rhetorical question. ‘To me she always says she’s fine. She never tells me anything. She doesn’t want to talk about the cancer with me. Dat kan ik best begrijpen. We never did have a close relationship. That happens between mothers and daughters. You had a nice conversation with her.
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